Burning Bras while Picking Afros


SimplyBe, Natural Hair
Ironically, the last thing that I accepted on my body was my hair, not being fat. I know it may sound crazy, but I remember battling my hair for so many years and being envious of the girls with relaxers.  They got to wake up in the morning with no frizz and bone straight hair.  I did try the relaxer thing, but soon I had a sink full of hair from breakage within only a couple of months of having it.  I even made my younger brother iron my hair (He would never admit to it today).  I used to think of straight hair of not only being more polished,  but I thought it had the power to allow me to blend in to society.  It's what was on the commercials and what everyone seemed to be aspiring to have. In the mind of a teenager who was being raised in a small town in the south, biracial (which because of my location was an anomaly in itself), & stuck out like a sore thumb blending was this sanctuary of normality that I was always trying to find me way to.  Straight hair , for me, didn't exist until the Chi came out. I got it there a few times before, but with Georgia humidity it never lasted long. Fast forward to my socialite days in Atlanta, I would straighten for a night out (because that's what the boys wanted) and then I would come home hair as big as Diana Ross.  My friends would find me at the end of the night by looking for the tall girl with the big hair. Now that I'm writing this, my hair envy was based on what others thought was beautiful and not what I thought.   

Three things had to happen for me to accept my hair.  The first was moving to Dallas. It's nearly impossible to even hope to have straight hair there.  It's so hot that all you want to wear is a ponytail or a bun and if you are going to do that what's the point in putting heat on your hair when you don't have to.  The second was that I really got into plus size blogging and breaking rules, what others wanted or thought was null and void.  Finally, the start of the natural hair movement.  African American girls were tossing their relaxers out the door and embracing their natural hair texture.  I remember walking past this girl in the movies.  Her hair was the most gorgeous texture I had ever seen.  It looked like cotton candy.   My jaw hit the floor.  I so get it now.   These girls were owning their tresses. Self acceptance in any arena is a great thing whether it's hair, weight, etc.  Not to take away from anyone with straight hair.  There is beauty in all textures. There is something so empowering about tossing society's beauty standards out the window. So this is a special shout to the natural hair girls.  I've been natural most of my life, but because of yall I accepted and am now embracing it.  

Style Note:  First off, I absolutely adore this look.  This definitely brought me out of my "Mexicoma." I've been getting bored with myself and really want to start wearing pants more.   They are such a hard fit for me, but I really want to get out of my own box.  I put my own twist on this look from SimplyBe.   When ordering this I didn't like the neckline of the top.  It's a v-neck and was kind of weird.  It was not deep enough, in my opinion.  I was worried about it and when I ordered my intuition on the neckline was right.  I hated it on me.  I was ready to send it back, but I thought maybe I could wear it backwards. I love a boatneck.  The zipper is invisible and unless you were all up in my personal space you wouldn't know.   Then I thought what about a hint of sexy by going unzipped and bra-less. Yes no bra! (I kind of was in a burning bra mood while reading all the updates with Texas and their shenanigans.) It's the unexpected sexy.  I've never really do "in your face" sexy all that well just because that's not me, but "sneak up on you" sexy is me all day.    Below you see the look zipped up, because I know that everybody can't whip out the girls all willy nilly and if you choose to wear it backward you can choose your own zipper height. The pants of this outfit only have elastic in the waist.  I was thinking that the actual pants were going to have some give because of the fabric content, but that content is referring to the elastic in the waist band.  In my opinion, these pants are cut wide in the stomach hip area and slimmer in the legs.  They fit just right in the thighs, but were too big in the waist and hip.  Because of the elastic in the waist, I did a quick alteration.  You know how little kids have that elastic you can pull in the waist band, so their pants wont fall down.  That's what I did.  On the inside of the pants, I pulled out a portion of the elastic, so that I could tighten the pants in the front and the back.  I could couple this with a shorter shirt and you wouldn't be able tell I did anything to them.   This is a tailored look. The fabric really has no give, so be sure to use the size chart to order.  I'm also shapewear-less in this garment. The peplum provides me tummy coverage and the fabric is thick enough and the fabric is so busy that you can't hope to see any cellulite issues.   It's like the perfect summer outfit and with the coupon (its on the website) it cost me like $60.   
SimplyBe, Natural Hair


SimplyBe, Natural Hair


SimplyBe, Natural Hair

SimplyBe, Natural Hair
Outfit:  Top - SimplyBe, Bottom - SimplyBe, Belt - Asos (similar), Shoes - Loft (similar), Watch - Michael Kors, Lip - MAC

61 comments

  1. Nice post. Very enthusiastic.

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  2. I love the outfit and your take on it you look stunning xx

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  3. Adorable and a wee bit of sexy cleavage. I like the black strip on the sides to break up the pattern. It keeps it from being overbearing.

    Oddly enough I am still trying to accept my skin color. I have always hated being so white. I burn, my veins are super visible, I blind people in bright sunlight. I think it has been a bigger battle than my weight ever was.

    You have amazing hair, and I am not saying that only because I have a curly hair fetish. :D

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    1. Thank you! LOL. Yes I totally agree about the black strip. Sometimes it's the craziest things we get hung up on instead of the obvious trait that we are supposed to have an issue with.

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  4. So beautiful with this outfit, i really love it! and your hair too!

    Kisses from Spain!

    Eve

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  6. I am a firm believer in taking control of your clothes and making them fit -- and you creatively did so with a vengeance! Just had to come out of the woodwork to say what a FABulous outfit -- you look fierce :)

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  7. I absolutely love this look! I am glad you decided to keep the top and make it your own.

    I'm not a pants person either. It's mostly due to my height [I'm 5'2]-it's just way too difficult to find pants that fit right. Plus I like skirts and dresses a lot so it works.

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  8. Love this look! It is super sexy without being overtly sexy. Love your hair too.
    My hair is naturally curly too, and I was always jealous of people with relaxers or the people with really kinky hair that could wear their hair in cute little afros. I even convinced my mom to let me get on when I was like in 5 or 6th grade. Didn't work on me, my curl pattern was too strong and my scalp was too sensitive. So back to natural hair for me. You're right, I was more caught up on my hair that I was with my weight. I never realized that until this post!! Thanks!

    Love your blog...

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  9. Girl.... You look amazing with your big hair and those curves ...

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  10. Love that look! So inventive, so subtly beautiful. You take curvy girl fashion to a whole new dimension.

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  11. BEST look ever!! LOVE everything about it!!!!!

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  12. This look made my jaw drop! You look so gorgeous, love this from head to toe!

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  13. I adore your blog and usually admire from afar but this time I could not resist leaving a comment. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this outfit. And as a big hair enthusiast, (partially because I'm from Texas and partially because my mixed hair chooses to do what it pleases) I swear you need to wear your hair like this more often.

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    1. Thank u! Girl Texas will have you feeling like you got a fur coat on your neck, but being out here in the bay area it's nice and breezy and you dont get sweaty!

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  14. I LOVE this look so much! You look amazing as always :)

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  15. I love this outfit. I've also always been envious of women with the big loose curls. I have an afro. It is always fascinating to me how we tend to to want what we don't have.

    Also, I really need to order something from Simply Be.

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    1. Yes we do because I'm so envious of the girls with the big afros and tighter curls...it takes so much for me to give my hair that fluffy volume on top. It wants to lay flat so bad and my curl pattern isn't strong curls too easily straighten out.

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  16. You look gorgeous! Thank you for having the inner strength and courage to inspire!

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  17. If someone had suggested this outfit to me, I would have laughed loudly and sincerely and walked away. Lesson learned-must think out the box and try anything on at least once. This outfit is wonderful-it looks great on you-it highlights your lovely shape. It is flirty yet elegant. Your hair is gorgeous and it makes you look so young and fresh faced (not that you are not young now, ofcourse) that I thought it was another throwback post for a minute. This look is a perfect ten (and so are you)!

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    1. Thank you & I agree! I had so many doubts about the print & neckline, but I'm like what's the worst that can happen. I would have to return and SimplyBe offers free returns. So the worst is that I would have to wait a week or so for a refund. I took a chance and it worked out, but I def. had my own apprehensions.

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    2. I recently purchased and read your book. You mention in it Ladan's closet. I remember your post with an amazing coat from last year that was Ladan design. Do you happen to know what's happening with the designer? I am unable to find anything recent from the brand...Thanks!
      Ana (I need to update this with my name :-).

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    3. Oh, and the book is great! A nice starter for fashion-challenged ladies...
      Ana

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    4. Thank you!! Yes they had some amazing coats. I think they went out of business :(

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  18. You look amazing! Love the studded belt with it, super hot!

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  19. You look absolutely incredible in this ensemble - just wow!

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  20. Your hair is so gorgeous and cute. Loving the outfit too. x

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  21. I really love your outfit and adore your lip stick :) Could you tell the name of it? Greetings from Germany, Tini

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    1. Hey, I provided a link above ~ MAC Girl about town

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  22. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this outfit! you should wear pants more often!

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  23. Love it especially the sneak sexy you got going on in the front with the zipper yessss Be-YOU-tiful!

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  24. This right here is gonna make me start cussing! You better do the damn thing Chastity!

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  25. I love the outfit and the big hair!! This is totally off subject but have you ever written about undergarments for curvy ladies? like where to find the best panties in my case because I have a bodacious bottom!! I don't think I've ever seen any plus bloggers touch on that. Or I'm just not following them. But I'd love to see an article from you. :-)

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    1. No I haven't but ive worn the Lane Bryant hipters for years!!! They've worked the best for me. I worn them so long that I really dont even know how the others work.

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  26. I love the outfit and the big hair!! This is totally off subject but have you ever written about undergarments for curvy ladies? like where to find the best panties in my case because I have a bodacious bottom!! I don't think I've ever seen any plus bloggers touch on that. Or I'm just not following them. But I'd love to see an article from you. :-)

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  27. Oh my deary this is beyond great....love it!

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  28. i know exactly how you feel, being biracial as well! i have finally started lovely my lovely curls that i can style to my liking! im glad you found your path! the outfit is slamming! just beautiful and with the hair, just bang on trend!
    cookieschaosncestlavie.blogspot.com/

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  29. Love everything about this look, I'm talking head to toe. Love the curls they look great on you!

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  30. Oh wow Chasity, almost didn't see you there. lol
    you look supa cute with the curls. Beautiful

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  31. Stunning! I love the hair.. and hair ON your face is YOUR look! Very chic!

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  32. I have a friend with crazy naturally curly hair and I've always been jealous because mine is stick straight. I used to try and perm mine to look like hers and it never did. It was disastrous. Why do we always want whatever it is we don't have? Congrats! Beautiful:)

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  33. Please work!!! And please preach! I am a natural girl and have been since 2001, but I always thought straight hair was more professional, so I have been straightening it a lot in the past couple of years! Recently it started to break off! Those Dominican blowouts aren't everything!!!

    U look so sexy!

    www.thickdaddys.blogspot.com

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    1. Girl!!!! All u smell is burnt hair in the Dominican shops!!!! ...thank u :)

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  34. Do you have any ideas about where I might be able to find a plus size long pants romper?

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    1. I think Simplybe or asos
      Im gonna blog one in a few days.

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  35. New blog follower! You are fabulous girl! I found your blog through ModCloth. :) Gonna check out your YT, Pint and IG.

    ~Marie.
    www.beflawlessandfancy.blogspot.com

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  36. I almost fainted when I opened your blog and saw this look YASSSSSS!!!! You my dear are my shero *bows down*. From head to toe PERFECTION!

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  37. I absolutely love this look!! Simply beautiful. I want to buy this outfit and like you, I do not like the neckline. But it is so beautiful on you...love it and love you.

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  38. First of all, I just adore everything about you. Your style, your attitude, and your writing.

    As a natural curly girl I understand the struggle. I did relaxers for years with the same goal in mind and the same breakage in the sink. I've been relaxer free for 6 years and loving my curly do. Big hair, don't care.

    Now on the style front, I need that outfit in my life. That neckline is serious.

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    1. Thank you so much!!!! Yeah I found out real quick that a relaxer wasn't going to work for me. I had to cut my hair off and start again. I was trying to be grown LOL.

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  39. Can I tell you that I had been eyeing this outfit forever.....and I was immediately intimidated by the print....after seeing you I purchased it that SAME DAY!!!! I opened it tired it on and died!!!! I said outloud....."Thank you Chastity girl"

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  40. Awesome look on you. Thanks for the inspiration.

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  41. Saw this post and ordered the outfit. Tried it on last night and *knew* nobody could tell me nothin', lol! I do have a question, though: when wearing it backwards, how do you thwart the bust seams (on the true front of the top)? I noticed they looked a bit pouchy and didn't quite lay right on my back.

    Thanks!

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